Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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