I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
