Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
