My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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