Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
