I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize