WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
and you fell through a lawn chair
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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