the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
