Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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