The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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