She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
