I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
