It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
