dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
