You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize