UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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