she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
