how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
