: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
