he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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