problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
