david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
