Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
