I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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