She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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