she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
