at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
