We're like a lot better than the average bears
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
