i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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