I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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