Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
