forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
