I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize