I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
