My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
