you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
