i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
