Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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