dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he shaved USA in his pubs
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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