I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i now understand why vodka
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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