ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
