Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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