why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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