you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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