yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
