Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
