I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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