We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
