I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
