im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
