Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
