Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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