Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
