That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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