does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They took my balls.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
