If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
