There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
