I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
