Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We have started to decorate penises.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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