how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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