well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
