Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
